Sunday, 22 March 2015

How do our mind work

4 things to know about your mind:

1. Information: Your mind consumes information from the environment and circumstance you are in... and it reacts to it. So what comes in matters. If you're around negative people, your mind wants to mirror that negativity. If you're around something inspiring, your mind mirrors that too. So be cautious about having negative information and people in your life because they shape how you think, feel, behave -- your overall psychology. And be di...ligent about consuming positive, intelligent, and instructive information so you strengthen a healthy, informed, positive mind.

2. Interpretation: Once your mind takes in information, it interprets it by asking, "Is this good or bad? Is this safe or dangerous? Should I approach or avoid? What does this mean to me personally?" Interpretation defines things for us and tells us how meaningful something is. And that interpretation is primarily driven by past experiences, what we call conditioning. People can interpret the same information differently because they take in different parts of the information or their mind is conditioned differently from their past. Self-mastery is really about learning to consciously interpret the information coming into our lives in an open and purposeful way. And part of mastering our relationships is learning how those we love interpret things.

3. Intention: Our intention of who to be can rewrite our history. It is our dominant intentions for who we want to be, how we want to interact with people, and what we want to create and contribute to the world that form the real power of our mind. Imagine a burning building on fire. Some people might interpret danger and run, while someone else might have the intention to be a servant and hero and their intention overrides their interpretation of danger... so they run into the building to save people. It was their intention that overrode their immediate impulses -- that's consciousness and that's heroism.

4. Initiative: Our mind is most shaped by our actions. When we act cowardly by running away, remain silent, or refuse to take actions toward dreams that are important to us, our mind interprets this and says, "I'm weak, incapable or unworthy." Yet, when we have initiative, our mind develops self-determination and self-regulation. Our actions of yesterday form the thrust of how we think today. The more positive actions we take the more positive our minds become.

Takeaway: Be around people and environments that inspire and activate the good parts of you, interpret things in positive ways, set powerful intentions, and take action so your mind feels stronger, more confident and capable. When you do all this, you start to experience what we call The Charged Life!

Monday, 16 March 2015

Lying signs

11 Signs Someone Is Lying To You

Vivian Giang

Handout/Getty

Are you bad at spotting a lie?
New research by Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, a forensic psychologist at the Haas School of Business at the University of California, Berkeley, and her collaborators, suggests that our instincts for judging liars are actually fairly strong — but our conscious minds sometimes fail us.
Luckily, there are signs we can look for when trying to detect a lie.
Dr. Lillian Glass, a behavioral analyst and body language expert who has worked with the FBI on unmasking signals of deception, says when trying to figure out if someone is lying, you first need to understand how the person normally acts. Then you’ll want to pay careful attention to their facial expressions, body language, and speech patterns, she writes in her book “The Body Language of Liars.”

1. They change their head position quickly.

If you see someone suddenly make a head movement when you ask them a direct question, they may be lying to you about something.
“The head will be retracted or jerked back, bowed down, or cocked or tilted to the side,” writes Glass. This will often happen right before the person is expected to respond to a question.

2. Their breathing changes.

When someone is lying to you, they may begin to breathe heavily, Glass says. “It’s a reflex action.”

When their breathing changes, their shoulders will rise and their voice may get shallow, she adds. “In essence, they are out of breath because their heart rate and blood flow change. You body experiences these types of changes when you’re nervous and feeling tense — when you lie.”

3. They stand very still.

It’s common knowledge that people fidget when they get nervous, but Glass says that you should also watch out for people who are not moving at all.

“This may be a sign of the primitive neurological ‘fight,’ rather than the ‘flight,’ response, as the body positions and readies itself for possible confrontation,” says Glass. “When you speak and engage in normal conversation, it is natural to move your body around in subtle, relaxed, and, for the most part, unconscious movements. So if you observe a rigid, catatonic stance devoid of movement, it is often a huge warning sign that something is off.”

4. They repeat words or phrases.

This happens because they’re trying to convince you, and themselves, of something, she says. “They’re trying to validate the lie in their mind.” For example, he or she may say: “I didn’t…I didn’t…” over and over again, Glass says.

The repetition is also a way to buy themselves time as they attempt to gather their thoughts, she adds.

5. They provide too much information.

“When someone goes on and on and gives you too much information — information that is not requested and especially an excess of details — there is a very high probability that he or she is not telling you the truth,” writes Glass. “Liars often talk a lot because they are hoping that, with all their talking and seeming openness, others will believe them.”

6. They touch or cover their mouth.

“A telltale sign of lying is that a person will automatically put their hands over their mouth when they don’t want to deal with an issue or answer a question,” says Glass.

“When adults put their hands over their lips, it means they aren’t revealing everything, and they just don’t want to tell the truth,” she says. “They are literally closing off communication.”

7. They instinctively cover vulnerable body parts.

This may include areas such as the throat, chest, or abdomen.

“I have often seen this in the courtroom when I work as a consultant for attorneys. I can always tell when someone’s testimony has hit a nerve with the defendant, when I see his or her hand covering the front of his/her throat,” says Glass.

“I never appreciated the potential use of this very telling behavior until I joined the FBI as a Special Agent,” she says.

8. They shuffle their feet.

“This is the body taking over,” Glass explains. Shuffling feet tells you that the potential liar is uncomfortable and nervous. It also shows you that he or she wants to leave the situation; they want to walk away, she says.

“This is one of the key ways to detect a liar. Just look at their feet and you can tell a lot.”

9. It becomes difficult for them to speak.

“If you ever watch the videotaped interrogation of a suspect who is guilty, you will often observe that it becomes more and more difficult for her to speak,” writes Glass. “This occurs because the automatic nervous system decreases salivary flow during times of stress, which of course dries out the mucous membranes of the mouth.”
Other signs to watch out for include sudden lip biting or pursed lips.

10. They stare at you without blinking much.

When people lie, it’s common that they break eye contact, but the liar could go the extra mile to maintain eye contact in attempt to control and manipulate you.
“[Bernie] Madoff, like most con men, overcompensated and stared at people longer than usual, often without blinking at regular intervals,” says Glass. “When people tell the truth, most will occasionally shift their eyes around and may even look away from time to time. Liars, on the other hand, will use a cold, steady gaze to intimidate and control.”
Also watch out for rapid blinking.

11. They tend to point a lot.

“When a liar becomes hostile or defensive, he is attempting to turn the tables on you,” says Glass. The liar will get hostile because he is angry that you’ve discovered his lies, which may result in a lot of pointing.

How to detect lies in teenager and adult

How to Detect Lies

Four Methods:

Looking at facial expressions to determine whether a person is lying might just save you from being a victim of fraud. Or it could help you to know it's safe to trust your heart and get involved with an attractive stranger. Jury analysts use lie detection when helping to select a jury; the police do it during interrogation. Even judges use lie detection to determine which side to rule in favor of. To use these techniques, you'll need to learn how to read the little facial and body expressions that most people don't notice. It takes a little practice but having this skill can be fascinating! To get started, read on...

Look for micro-expressions. Micro-expressions are facial expressions that flash on a person's face for a fraction of a second and reveal the person's true emotion, underneath the lie. Some people may be naturally sensitive to them but almost anybody can train themselves to detect these micro-expressions.
- Typically, in a person who is lying, his or her micro-expression will be an emotion of distress, characterized by the eyebrows being drawn upwards towards the middle of the forehead, causing short lines to appear across the skin of the forehead.
2

Look for nose touching and mouth covering. People tend to touch the nose more when lying and a great deal less when telling the truth.^[1] This is perhaps due to a rush of adrenaline to the capillaries in the nose, causing the nose to itch.^[2]^[3] A lying person is more likely to cover his or her mouth with a hand or to place the hands near the mouth, almost as if to cover the lies coming forth. If the mouth appears tense and the lips are pursed, this can indicate distress.^[4]^[5]
3
Notice the person's eye movements. You can usually tell if a person is remembering something or making something up based on eye movements. When people remember details, their eyes move up and to the left if they are right-handed. When right-handed people make something up, their eyes move up and to the right. The reverse is true of left-handed people. People also tend to blink more rapidly ("eye flutter") as they're telling a lie. More common in men than in women, another tell of a lie can be rubbing the eyes.^[1]
- Watch the eyelids. These tend to close longer than the usual blink when a person sees or hears something he or she doesn't agree with.^[4] However, this can be a very minute change, so you will need to know how the person blinks normally during a non-stressful situation for accurate comparison. If the hands or fingers also go to the eyes, this may be another indicator of trying to "block out" the truth.^[4]
- Be careful about assessing the truthfulness of someone's statement based on eye movements alone. Recent scientific studies have cast doubt on the idea that looking a certain direction can help pinpoint someone who is lying.^[6]^[7] Many scientists believe that eye directionality is a statistically poor indicator of truthfulness.
Do not use eye contact or lack of it as a sole indicator of truthfulness. Contrary to popular belief, a liar does not always avoid eye contact.^[1] Creatures may naturally break eye contact and look at non-moving objects to help them focus and remember. Liars may deliberately make eye contact to seem more sincere; this can be practiced to overcome any discomfort, as a way of "proving" that truth is being told.
- Indeed, it has been shown that some liars tend to increase the level of eye contact in response to the fact that investigators have often considered eye contact as a tell.^[4] Clearly, only use eye contact aversion as one indicator in a general context of increasing distress when being asked difficult questions.^[4]

My life experience

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